Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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