If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
