I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
