I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Vodka?
Forever.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
