Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
