Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
