i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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