she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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