apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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