OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
