There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
