Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
