you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize