my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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