She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
