dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
