that's an acceptable place to lick
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I could fuck to npr.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
