the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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