I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
