That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize