The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
