brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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