There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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