ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
