So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
