So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
