He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
this hospital has no fireball
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
