it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
A+ Viking dick
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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