Having a random hookup so left but love u
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize