I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
