3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
they're like a gay fantastic four
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
