Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
