i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
