Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize