Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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