batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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