You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I love having hate sex.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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