We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
