oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My ATM looks so different sober.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
