Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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