i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
