listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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