You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize