Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
