I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
