i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
