I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
