You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize