let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
