hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
