Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
