wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
