I'm gonna have a badass scar
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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