yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
