sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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