Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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