my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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