maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize