I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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