Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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