Porn is love you can see.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
