ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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