is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
