he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
