I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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