Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
