So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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