Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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