you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
