I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
