i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
