Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
