I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
as a side note pls kill me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
