i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just found puke in my bra..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
