Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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