I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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