You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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