Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
should my penis look like a turkey
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
