omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish i was in the wii world.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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