I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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