i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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